In this consumer culture world, people crave more and more and are never satisfied. But, I've come to realise that my autism makes me very different in that regard. While most people cannot be satisfied, I cannot be disatisfied. I've tried. No matter how bad something is, I think it's perfect. It just feels perfect. I don't like mushroom, but eating it is just as satisfying to me as eating anything else; not because of the taste, but because I just feel satisfied. No matter what I do, I feel satisfied.

I was begging for my life to feel turned upside down before it did feel like that. I had a breakdown and got temporarily detained, couldn't control my own body -- while something had taken over and was pretending to be me -- and, do you know what? Not once did I prefer not to be in that situation. Every time I felt I might be close, things calmed down and I never got to the point where it was too much. I remember -- through the extreme anxiety and toothache -- marveling at how I wouldn't rather be anywhere else or in any other situation. To me, it was all heaven.

(By the way, I'm rounding up all the figures in this paragraph) That's where I think I am; it makes a lot more sense. Being in the one percent of people in the world who have autism and this high verbal comprehension intelligence, the seven percent of people who ever lived that are alive, outside of the nightmarish times in human history, the twenty one percent of people in the world living in developed countries and 8 percent of people in the world who have rare diseases? Get real. I'm living in a computer simulation, and the person running it REALLY likes me; enough to put me in a sort of heaven. She's given me everything I ever wanted. I'm so pleased to be on the side of a demon-like goddess. I don't mind if I'm tortured forever; I don't have fear (which became readily apparent when the "demons" held a knife to my throat, with my own hand, and I thought I would die extremely painfully and go to a simulated hell where I would experience infinite pain).

Now I've got a Windows 10 Home system with an i7 8-core CPU running at 3.6 gigahertz (not overclocked) with a GTX 1080 graphics card and a 3 terabyte hard drive and a 250 gigabyte SSD. I could buy a 4k 120 hertz monitor, but what's the point? If you showed me two monitors; a 4k 120Hz  monitor and an identical 1080p 60Hz monitor, they would look the same to me from normal playing distance. Software uses a technique where it blends pixel values together to make thin and tiny objects -- like hairs and dust -- look thinner or smaller than a pixel accordingly. My monitor is a statement. Stop just spending money on things you don't need and never being satisfied. Appreciate the things you have. Or would you rather be unhappy for the rest of your life? Also, get a self help book, for goodness sake.